The purpose of this blog was to share my passion and inspire a broad audience to engage in Anthrozoology-related topics and issues. However, I tend to use it more for career-related topics and I’m not very consistent. So far I have written about my career-change, mental health, and ADHD!.
On 4 July 2023 I passed my viva. You can read my PhD thesis here.
I live in Berlin, Germany, and completed my PhD via distance-learning. I am happy to chat with anyone who is considering this. It is not for everyone, but for many provides the necessary flexibility (and for some it is the only option). I wrote about my experiences in a couple of guest blogs recently (linked below). But here is a picture of me at graduation in-person, on campus, wearing the magical hat!!
Continue readingThis video got me thinking and those thoughts have turned into a very long blog where I overshare and use a lot of words that don’t really lead to a conclusion!
Could I be autistic as well as having ADHD?
When first suggested to me at age 48, the ADHD explanation surprised me because I love lists and spreadsheets and order. And I hate clutter – it stresses me out big time! However, looking back at my childhood and early adulthood struggles it made sense, and I assumed my orderly obsession was a mechanism I had developed to cope. Now I am less sure!
When I was a little kid in the 1970s autism was barely on the radar, never mind ADHD. In my case, Autism was dismissed fairly early on. Those around me knew something was amiss but hoped I’d grow out of it. I never did – I just learned to better hide the crazy and act more normal. I think everyone must have realised on some level that my ‘tantrums’ as a 12yr old were more than me just being a brat. They were out of control and they scared me. I was horribly ashamed of my meltdowns – it is like being possessed and I’d say some pretty nasty things and break things.
Perhaps because I turned my frustration to self abuse (verbal mostly, and less often physical) and because I was able to contain much of it to the home I never got in enough trouble for any kind of intervention to be called for. Also it was the 1980s!
I’ve been meaning to write about my experiences as a molecular biologist in academic science for some time, and one day I might. However, despite now tackling questions that truly inspire me, I am not quite finished processing my failure to gain the independence I strived towards for so many years. My plant science career ended in a mental breakdown, directly related to the toxic academic culture and a system that allows individuals to be used and abused. Yet here I am doing another PhD. But this time it is different!
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I feel like an imposter in many areas of my life, but the most interesting is how I feel with respect to the neurodiversity community. I am a child of the 1970s, and when my mum tried to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me she was told I was just ‘highly-strung’ or, regarding my meltdowns, that I’d ‘grow out of them’. I never did!
Continue readingWhat is anthrozoology? That is a question myself and my peers get asked all the time. My short answer is that anthrozoology is the study of human and animal relations. My slightly longer answer is that anthrozoology is the systematic study of the ways in which humans relate to and think about members other species, and vice versa. But the more important question is, what should anthrozoology be about?
Continue readingSomething I am constantly struggling with is the balance between competition and care. I enjoy research and writing, and if I am to ever to land my dream job of a professorship (or permanent academic post) I recognise the need to publish and take credit for leading or collaborating in various activities. I choose to focus on doing what I feel is worthwhile first and foremost, rather than building a CV for myself.
It is important not to compare yourself to carefully curated personas. Professional profiles and CVs are not the place to disclose weaknesses, failures, mistakes, or illnesses. However, these are elements of real life and we should not be ashamed of them. We are all human and imperfect. Mental illness in particular is stigmatised, and although attitudes are changing for the better, the damaging and unforgiving culture of perfectionism persists.
I shared this in a private group at the beginning of term, but I think it is too important to forget. It is something I have to keep reminding myself.
To anyone who needs to hear this: your essay is not YOU. Neither is it a reflection of your self-worth or your potential to write something much better. A grade is simply a measure of the standard you are currently writing at. Nothing more. It says nothing about your potential to write at a much higher standard. Some students will start the MA already able to write at distinction level, while others have a way to go and many obstacles in their path. Remember that and focus on your own journey. Use feedback to improve current and future pieces of work, and never take criticism of your work personally. Even the best writers sometimes can produce poor quality work, and nothing is ever beyond improvement. You will be emotionally and professionally invested in the success of an essay or manuscript, but it is still important not to view its success or failure as an extension of yourself.
This is a question close to my heart (and one I have been chewing on ever since listening to a presentation by a fellow PhD researcher on the subject). As someone who has almost drowned in the academic swamp, I need to keep re-evaluating why I am doing what I am doing.
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Academic Cat Lady 