I’ve been meaning to write about my experiences as a molecular biologist in academic science for some time, and one day I might. However, despite now tackling questions that truly inspire me, I am not quite finished processing my failure to gain the independence I strived towards for so many years. My plant science career ended in a mental breakdown, directly related to the toxic academic culture and a system that allows individuals to be used and abused. Yet here I am doing another PhD. But this time it is different!